Bill Weber

BIOGRAPHY

2008-08-27T10:14:00.010-04:00

Bill Weber is an artist, writer, and businessman with over 25 years of experience as a publisher, producer, product developer, and designer for business, consumer, and family media. Through the use of best practices in marketing, advertising, design, and electronic and print communications, he helps non-profits improve the lives of children and families around the world.

He is currently developing The World of Ambassador Bird, a children's media property that celebrates international culture and helps children create a better world to live in.

Bill has written two children's books, Hero's House and The Native New Yorker, and contributed to a third, Through Tiger's Eyes. He is working on two personal book projects: You Were Born Perfect ...You Just Forgot for the young adult market, and Designing Powerful Logos for the business market.

PROFILE

2006-10-05T21:23:00.005-04:00

Over 25 years of experience in

Diverse Industries

Non-Profit Marketing and Management
Internet Operations and Marketing
Magazine and Book Publishing
Music and Video Retail Promotion
Promotional Marketing
Children's Entertainment

Creative Direction

Editorial Programming
Character Development

Strategic Management

Start-ups and Turnarounds
Marketing & Sales Promotion

Multi-talented artist, writer, and businessman with a passion for family-friendly properties.

Collaborated on magazine, book, and interactive CD launches for VNU Publications, Archive, ParentAge, The Children's Health Fund, The Dinosaur Times, and Heritage Muse Publishing.

Designed and implemented comprehensive marketing programs for major membership-based religious organizations and non-profits.

Created Rolemodel.TV, The World of Ambassador Bird, Ingenuity, and other intellectual properties for multiple platforms.

Innovator who develops ideas that meet business objectives and resonate with the public.

Enrolled over 150 companies in new children's entertainment trade association and launched national marketing initiatives, including theme park event that increased attendance by over 30%.

Pioneered the local parenting magazine concept, leveraging a $500 investment into a successful 10-year run in New York City.

Resourceful problem-solver who creates strategic alliances to maximize benefits and minimize risk.

Persuaded Time Warner, Opryland USA, and FunExpo to provide substantial services at no charge.

PROFESSIONAL HISTORY

2006-10-04T10:48:00.008-04:00

BILL WEBER STUDIOS
Principal
2007-present, 2001-2003

Branding, Marketing Communications, Product Development, Family Media

Branding & Consulting Services

Provide services to businesses in publishing, non-profit service, entertainment, and real estate. Clients include:

The Education Development Center's Hidaya Project, a peace initiative in the Gaza Strip.
Kids Rocking Cancer, a support community for families touched by cancer.
The Holis Institute, an environmental education provider.
A.R.T.S., an international non-profit artists' support organization.
The Good Deed Foundation, a consumer-marketing oriented non-profit.
The Temple of Universal Judaism, a Manhattan congregation.
The Astoria Center of Israel, a Queens, New York, congregation.

Contract Director of Marketing and Communications

Park Avenue Christian Church, a growing congregation on Manhattan's Upper East Side.
Slim Goodbody Productions – international television syndication.
Yvette Helin Studio – custom costume maker for theme parks, theatre, and television.

Marketing & Circulation Consultant

Wrote and executed marketing and/or circulation plans for a diverse group of clients, including:

VNU Publications – launch of new children’s entertainment trade title

ParentAge – newsletter for mid-life parenting

The Dinosaur Times - kids' magazine

peaceplease.com – internet retailing

singledparents.com – club site

campusresources.com – school fundraising through internet entertainment
Internet Sourcebook - computer industry trade directory

Member of Snap Marketing's freelance brain trust, contributing to new business pitches for General Electric and A&E Networks.

Wrote treatments, coverage, and formats for The Bacque Group, a financial group looking to invest in children's television.

Intellectual Property Development

Pitching program concepts to established content providers, including:

RoleModel.TV, a multi-platform channel for families

The Children’s Entertainment Hall of Fame -- annual family television special

Ingenuity -- a science game show for families

The World of Ambassador Bird -- global cultural awareness series for pre-schoolers

EPROMOS.COM
Internet Marketing and Merchandising Director
2005-2006

Reorganized and expanded back-end
operations of this $20 million B-to-B e-tailer
to accommodate 100% annual growth

Hired and trained new merchandising department to enhance customer experience, improve deals with vendors, and increase the effectiveness of the Endeca retail search engine.
Wrote Operations Manual.
Supervised department’s Search Engine Optimization efforts to increase page hits and sales.
Introduced brand name, boutique, and licensed product categories.
Supervised and edited bi-weekly newsletters, direct mail, and email promotions.

SHOWCASE ARCHIVE, INC.
General Manager / Director of Marketing
2003-2005

Revitalized mature publishing business
to generate new profits and growth

Repositioned the company's twelve international titles, including Lürzer's Archive, Lürzer's TV Archive, and American Showcase to open new markets and better serve customer's needs.
Launched new American website, resulting in a 1000% increase in sales the first six months.
Developed unique sampling program using alternate delivery systems.
Formed strategic partnerships with trade publishers, industry associations, and advertising schools.
Set up performance parameters and supervised vendors, including fulfillment, public relations and telemarketing firms.

MPE PUBLICATIONS, INC.
General Manager
1998-2001

In the face of major new competition,
reversed declining sales by
boosting advertiser retention rate to 85%
and opening new ad categories

Full profit/loss responsibility for the Motion Picture TV & Theatre Directory, the largest-circulation directory in film and video production, and its sister website.

AMERICAN ACADEMY OF CHILDREN’S ENTERTAINMENT
President and Founder
1994-97

Enrolled over 150 companies in a new
entertainment trade association
and launched national marketing initiatives

Members included PBS, Shari Lewis Enterprises, Jim Henson Productions, Hanna-Barbera Studios, Saban Entertainment, and Rhino Records.
Launched national marketing initiatives: the Children’s Entertainment Awards, the AACE Children’s Entertainment Conference, the AACE Music Marketing Project, Children’s Entertainment Business and Who’s Who In Children’s Entertainment.
Driving force behind televised entertainment special on TNN’s Music City Tonight, which featured performances from Shari Lewis, Bob McGrath, Garth Brooks, Tom T. Hall, and Eddie Raven.
Created The All-Star Family Festival at Opryland USA, which increased one-day theme park attendance by over 30%, exceeding park expectations.
Contributed to FCC hearings on the Children’s Television Act, then participated in panel discussion broadcast on MSNBC.

PARENTS & KIDS DIRECTORY
Publisher, Editor and Design Director
1984-94

Turned a $500 investment into
a successful 10-year run as
New York City’s first local parenting magazine

Formed marketing alliances with Parenting Magazine, WNET-TV, the Children’s Museum of Manhattan, the Children’s Health Fund, and the Food Emporium.
Sold national, regional, and local accounts such as Club Med, Stride-Rite, Barney’s, and Con Edison.
Published successful spin-offs New York for Kids Trading Cards and The Parents Datebook & Planner.

EDUCATION & TRAINING

2006-10-03T10:58:00.000-04:00

Parsons School of Design, Communications Design
Pratt Institute, Communications Design
New Jersey Institute of Technology, Architecture

Planet Ocean, Search Engine Optimization Training, 2005
NetConcepts, Search Engine Optimization Training, 2006

Landmark Education, 12 CEUs in leadership development and communication
Writer’s Boot Camp, Screenwriting Course Graduate

BUSINESS CREDENTIALS

2006-10-02T11:02:00.003-04:00

Sun Microsystem's Startup Camp, Marketing discussion group leader, 2007
National Academy of Television Arts & Sciences, New York Chapter Emmys judge, Children's/Teen Programming/Graphics/Animation Categories, 2007, 20008
Kidscreen Summit, Participant 2003-2007
Licensing International, Exhibitor 2006, Attendee 1994-2008
Bessie Awards, Sponsor 2005
NATPE New Orleans, Attendee 2001
New York New Media Association, Member 1994-1998
Who’s Who In Entertainment, Honoree 1994-1998

Religion Communicators Council, Member
American Mensa, Ltd., Member

COMMUNITY SERVICE

2006-10-02T10:09:00.004-04:00

Park Avenue Men's Circle. Civic and fraternal organization in partnership with the Park Avenue Christian Church and the Temple of Universal Judaism. Founder and steering committee member, 2008-20009.

A.R.T.S., an international artists' support organization. Events committee member, 2004-present.
11th Street Community Garden, a project of the Trust for Public Land. Chair, 2002-2004.
Broadway Community Housing, supportive housing for previously homeless families. Tutor for Dorothy Day Houses summer program, 2003.
Men's Division International, men's civic organization. Reunion Chair, 2003.

PRESS

2006-10-01T20:34:00.000-04:00

Advantages Magazine, December 1, 2007. Direct Mail campaign for Archive magazine receives glowing review.

BlogTalkRadio, October 22, 2007. John C. Havens interview with Bill Weber about RoleModel.TV at Sun Microsystems Conference New York.

ZDNet Video Interview, October 23, 2007. David Berlind, Executive Editor, interview with Bill Weber about Ambassador Bird and RoleModel.TV.

CREATIVE CREDITS

2006-10-01T11:04:00.010-04:00

Op-Ed Articles

TelevisionWeek, “Children Need Better TV Role Models”
Mediaweek, “The Opportunity of Radio Disney”
Kidscreen, “Where is the Storytelling?”
Children’s Entertainment Business, “I Want My R-MTV (Retail Music Television),” “Wish List For The Children’s Entertainment Industry”

Television - Completed and In Development

The World of Ambassador Bird, Concept creator, animated show for pre-schoolers
Surviving Tomorrow, Audition for upcoming Discovery Channel innovation series, April 2007
The Nashville Network’s Salute to Children’s Entertainment, Executive Producer, June 1996
The Children’s Entertainment Hall of Fame, Concept creator, annual awards special for families
Ingenuity, Concept creator, science game show for families
Rheostat’s Restaurant, Concept creator, variety show for pre-schoolers
Toy Team, Concept creator, animated action-adventure series for ages 7-12
Home Made Horror, Concept creator, sci-fi "how-to" show for ages 7-12
Freight, Concept creator, adult sitcom format

Theatre

A Christmas Carol with Gerald Charles Dickens (great-great-grandson of author Charles Dickens), Marketing Design. New York premiere (2009).
Waiting For The Show, Marketing Design. Philadelphia Fringe Festival (2007) and New York City Off-Off-Broadway debut (2008).
Figment Festival at Governor's Island, personal appearance of Ambassador Bird, July 8, 2007
All-Star Family Festival at Opryland USA, Executive Producer, June 1996
Smile, The Broadway Musical, Personal Assistant to Marvin Hamlisch, 1984

Design

TrademarksUSA, Winner, Best Designs of 2010, for five trademarks: Park Avenue Christian Church, Northeast Region Christian Church, East Coast Construction Company, The Ladies Room, and Metropolitan Theatre Company, 2010
Creativity At Work, Prize Winner, Big Book of Self-Promotion, Harper Collins, 2009
Home Stretch, Prize Winner, ABCO Sport Marketing Design Competition, 2009
Pasta Doctor, Prize Winner, Unilever Ragu Product Development Competition, 2008
Ambassador Bird as the 2012 Olympic Mascot?, Top 8 Selection, BBC.com Design Competition, 2008
Ambassador Bird Character Tie, Best Product Award Winner, Zazzle, 2007
SnackBots, Prize Winner, Welch's Afterschool Snack Competition, 2007
Magic Television-Watching Socks, PBS Sprout promotional giveaway, 2006
Saatchi Gallery UK, Peace Symbols, on-line exhibition, 2007
Man Reaching Up To God, God Reaching Down to Man, World Trade Center Memorial Competition entrant, 2004
The Denta-Rhythmic Toothbrush, Krups Design Contest entrant, 1989

Books

Designing Powerful Logos, 2011 (scheduled release)
You Were Born Perfect... You Just Forgot, 2011 (scheduled release)
Creativity At Work, 2009 - Prize Winner, Selected for The Big Book of Self-Promotion, Harper Collins, 2009. Prize Winner, Selected to be sold worldwide by Amazon.com.
Through Tiger's Eyes, story and book design, Cyber-Tiger Press, 2007
The Native New Yorker, co-author and co-illustrator, HWH Publishing, 1987
Hero's House, writer and illustrator, NJSOA Press, 1977

INGENUITYThe family science gamethat asks, "What IS That?!"

2006-01-01T16:53:00.000-05:00

Ingenuity is a fast-paced science game show for families where teams compete to figure out what modern devices do, conduct science experiments, and operate robots!

Three two-person teams, each consisting of a parent and a child (age 7 to 12), compete in three exciting segments: Gadgets & Guesses, Stand-Up Science, and Cyber Challenge.

Ingenuity has the potential to be a break-out family show like Wheel of Fortune. The game is about “the figuring out,” not book knowledge. And the world is gadget-crazy. Having parent and child teams will add extra appeal for adult viewers, as adults can identify with other adults, and the parent-child relationship adds a layer of drama.

For non-televised shows, two-child teams (without parents) would also be effective. Two-child teams, especially in a science museum theatre setting, may be more practical, as school groups will probably be the main audiences. There is room to vary the contestant formula as the show develops and grows.

GADGETS & GUESSES

Three experts from sports, science, politics, and show business, in pre-taped segments, give different descriptions of the same object. Only one is telling the truth about the object’s function.

Contestants must figure out which expert is telling the truth.

Gadgets & Guesses is designed to introduce role models from science and industry. Famous inventors and scientists will be interspersed with celebrities from music, television, movies, and sports. We will also be able to have fun with the juxtaposition of celebrities. Maybe Regis Philbin, Kelly Ripa, and Kathie Lee Gifford will lie for us. Lindsay Lohan, Avril Lavagne, and Christina Aguilera. Alvin, Simon, and Theodore. Snap, Crackle and Pop.

After four rounds of Gadgets & Guesses, one team is eliminated. The two remaining teams move on to….

STAND-UP SCIENCE

This segment combines aspects of Double Dare and The Price is Right with the attractions of a modern hands-on science museum. Teams will be challenged to build wooden-block buildings that can withstand 1-minute earthquakes, or create an alphabet for blind people using mud – in other words, messy, brain-intensive games that require creative thinking skills.

One team will survive Stand-Up Science to take the…

CYBER CHALLENGE

This is the grand finale where the winning team can win valuable prizes. This segment features the Digi-Neuro-Automotive ViRbot ("ViRbot" for Virtual Reality Robot.) It looks like a giant gyroscope with robotic arms, and gets its inspiration from the weird automobiles that Toyota engineers build for car shows. (Toyota would be approached to design and build the ViRbot.) Contestants will use the ViRbot to do in the 3-D world what kids do in video games like Super Mario Brothers Double Dash: set a clock, collect balloons, tie some shoes, etc.

Ingenuity is a very fun, fast-paced show, filled with scripted expert/celebrity lies, messy action, and nerve-wracking physical challenges. It is easy to laugh and play along with at home.

The show is accessible for audiences of all ages. Previously syndicated science programs, Beakman’s World and Bill Nye The Science Guy, tended to exclude adult audiences because of their devotion to Junior High School-level data. Ingenuity, however, is about the "figuring out," not book knowledge. It encourages all ages to play along and use their powers of analysis, observation, and deduction to solve the problems put before the contestants. It is as much a family game show as a children's educational show.

PARTNERSHIP POTENTIAL

Since the show relies on the kinds of hands-on exploration that goes on at science museums, we would like to tape the program at such a facility. (The Pacific Science Center, in Seattle, is already interested.)

This would open up additional revenue potential from ticket sales. (After spending one day taping five episodes -- the usual game-show schedule -- the show could repeat itself, with different hosts and contestants, the rest of the week.

Ingenuity also intends to partner with the worldwide technology industry promoting new products in show segments. Manufacturers are invited to underwrite the television program, our school outreach efforts, and the live tour of science museums.

LICENSING POTENTIAL

If we position Ingenuity as an educational lifestyle, and not just as a game show, we will be able to reach out to many product categories.

Games and science kits. The obvious categories.

Computer hardware and software makers, and electronics manufacturers. The Ingenuity seal of approval will help them sell more products.

Clothing. Casual clothing decorated with scientific formulae, images from the opening montage of the show, and other “smart” things that will help make learning cool.

Books and other media. A science magazine for kids, geeky greeting cards, and a line of books about science and natural history are all naturals.

A TYPICAL EPISODE

OPENING CREDITS

During a lively, animated, opening credit sequence, machines fall apart, get put back together, and take on new and unusual functions. For example, the parts of a vacuum cleaner may become hair accessories. This segment gets viewers thinking about the way things work.

WELCOME

Ingenuity is set in an old-fashioned science laboratory with decidedly high-tech capabilities. The style is "retro-stodgy": an old wooden laboratory table has flashy oversized racing wheels, an antique roll-top desk has built-in video
monitors, etc.

The host works from the roll-top desk stage right. A giant video monitor sits center stage, surrounded by shelves of assorted gadgets, gizmos and gewgaws.

Stage left is a sunken, carpeted activity area with laboratory tables.
Downstage, just in front of the audience and suspended overhead, is the Digi-Neuro-Automotivel ViRbot. The ViRbot is dramatically lit throughout the program, and is lowered and used for the final game round.

The host, a young man or woman to be cast, welcomes three teams, each consisting of a child between the ages of 7 and 12 and a parent or other relative. After the host briefly explains the rules, the game begins.

PART 1: Gadgets & Guesses

On the large video monitor, in pre-recorded bits, three separate celebrities give different descriptions of the same object a la The Liar's Club. The following, based on a real invention, is a suggested segment:

FAMOUS BOTANIST
(Jerry Tauber)
(In a greenhouse)
This is a hydroponic plant stabilizer. Each plant needs
one in order to grow without dirt in a hydroponic
greenhouse. The plant stem is held in the top bracket. Plastic tubing, which brings nutrients to the plant's roots, is held in the bottom bracket. This button adjusts to crimp or release the tubing in order to regulate the flow of nutrients to each plant.

FAMOUS BASKETBALL PLAYER
(Yolanda Griffith)
(In uniform on basketball court foul line)
What do you suppose this is? This is a basketball weave caliper. Refs use it to make sure that the netting on the basketball hoop has the right thickness and elasticity. You just can’t put any kind of string up there! The ref puts a piece of rope that he knows is right into this top slot, then clips the bottom slot over the net he is checking. He pushes this button and the bottom slot squeezes the rope being tested. A chart on the back tells him if it’s all right. And if it’s all right, it’s all right! (Makes shot.)

FAMOUS TV STAR
(Bart Simpson)
(Animated, at home)
You know how sometimes late at night, you really gotta
go to the bathroom, but you won't because you know that
giant rats are waiting to drag you down into the sewer? Well, this is a potty seat lock. One side clips on the bottom toilet seat, and the other clips to the top so that the rats can't get out. When you gotta use the can, you just take a deep breath and lift the heavy lids together. But you better be quick, man. Giant rats can smell lunch from 50 fathoms!

Teams must now figure out which celebrity is telling the truth. After they make their guesses known, the truthful testimony is replayed, this time showing the item in use. (In this example, Bart Simpson was telling the truth.)

Four Gadgets & Guesses rounds are played. The two teams with the highest number of correct guesses move on to Part 2.

In the event of a tie, a tie breaker will be used. This will be a quiz question such as "Which was invented last: the telephone, the typewriter, or the radio?" or "Here is a picture of Regis Fullbin, the royal appleseller, who has forgotten his key to the castle. The only way for him to get in is to turn the drawbridge gears by hand. Which way must he turn Gear #1 in order for Gear #6 to lift the drawbridge?" These questions are based on thinking skills, not just memorized knowledge.

PART 2: Stand-Up Science

This part of the game is reminiscent of the set pieces used on The Price Is Right. A different activity, such as "The Earthquake Game," is used for each episode.

"The Earthquake Game:" On the video monitor, we see a few earthquakes affecting a few buildings, and get a brief lesson on earthquakes and building construction. Then, using building blocks, each team gets 45 seconds to build a multi-story building to withstand an earthquake. The table that they build on then vibrates, with a clock ticking off the seconds until the building collapses.

Contestants play Stand-Up Science separately against the clock. The number of seconds that their building withstands the simulated earthquake (up to limit of 60) is their score. The contestant with the highest total score moves on to Part 3. A tie-breaking question will be used, if necessary.

PART 3: The Cyber Challenge

The grand finale. The Digi-Neuro-Automotive Virtual Reality Robot (DNA ViRbot) is part video game, part amusement park ride, and part robot. Its name combines the words for human hand (digits), human brain (neuro), and self-propelled (automotive). We hope Toyota will loan us the experimental vehicles that their engineers design for their company’s Idea Expo each year.)

After the ViRbot is dramatically lowered from the rafters, the winning team climbs into it and is strapped in and helmeted. Contestants share their choice of mechanical controls, computer keyboard controls, or videogame "joystick" controls.

The task is something simple and silly: To pick up and scramble an egg, make a giant paper clip necklace, or tie a shoelace. Contestants get one minute to complete the task. If they complete it, they win the grand prize. If they don't, they get a consolation prize.

CLOSING

The contestants are thanked, the theme song plays, and the credits roll.

RHEOSTAT'S RESTAURANTA Musical Variety Show for Ages 3-6

2006-01-01T16:51:00.000-05:00

Rise and shine! The sun is coming up, and it's time for the Bisco family to get up, get dressed, and get to work at their family restaurant. A lively musical opening conveys the enthusiasm and hope of every brand new day, and shows the out-of-this-world morning routine of outer space aliens (portrayed by puppets) as if they were a typical earth family.

Mom levitates 6 year-old Rhea (short for Rheostat) down from her cocoon-like bed in the chandelier. Dad’s arm appears (separate from the rest of him!) in the attic to roust 9 year-old Jax out of his unconventional pine-knot-hole bed. The rest of Dad is taking a steel wool bath in the bathtub. In the kitchen, Mom pulls tubes out of the ceiling and fills bowls with breakfast food. When Jax arrives in an inappropriate t-shirt, Mom makes him take it off (his limbs unscrew and the shirt pops off) and get another. Rhea brushes her teeth. Finally, Uncle Omet pulls up the driveway in his saucer station wagon to drive everybody to the family business: “Rheostat’s Restaurant.”

The restaurant is a cute little truck stop/café somewhere in the U.S. Southwest. Paper plates, hung on the wall behind the counter, list specials in many Earth and alien languages.

Sometimes – like today – the family gets to work late and finds customers already waiting in the restaurant. A man is sitting at the counter, strumming a guitar. It is Tom Chapin.

TOM
Whoa there! No need to rush.

MOM
We’re so sorry – we’ll be with you in a
minute. You know how it is getting a
family up and out in the morning!

TOM
I sure do. Everything is in the nick of time.
I wrote a song about that.
(sings “In The Nick Of Time”)

And so it goes. Guests from the world of music and art perform and converse with the alien family, all with the intention of teaching the customs and musical styles of different cultures. Humor arises from the aliens’ need to hide their own special talents (limbs that attach and re-attach, for instance) and their planet of origin. Uncle Omet, who is in the kitchen, is removed from the action and doesn’t always understand what is going on. His comic misunderstandings (“I’ve nicked myself shaving – why would I want to nick time?”) add a playful layer of wordplay.

All this, of course, leads to lessons about self-esteem and respect for the differences of others.

Human and other guests don’t comment on the fact that the restaurant is run by aliens. While there may be an arched eyebrow or two over something Rhea, Jax, or Uncle Omet does, they are always accepted for who they are. (This is like Sesame Street, where Muppet characters are never addressed as being of a different species.)

Dialogue is written on multiple levels to engage both parents and children. Young children will always see the love and respect the characters show each other, even though some of the comedic references may go over their heads. The alien family is a functional family with strong communication skills, and therefore presents a good example for adults, too.

A simple storyline runs through each episode, with each musical performance commenting on, and forwarding, the action.

The music presented is not “kiddie music;” it is “people’s music” from around the world (in America, we call it “country music”). After the taping of an episode, audience members -- both children and adults -- will leave wanting to buy a CD of the show’s music, since the music doesn’t talk down to them.

MAIN CHARACTERS

The show’s main characters are a puppet family of aliens from a distant planet who are here to study our culture. They are curious – sometimes even intrusive -- about other people’s backgrounds, nationalities, and cultures.

Rhea. A six year-old alien girl and the star of the show. She is a precocious child who sometimes whines and wishes that she could be just like the humans. When this happens, you can be sure that she will end up with a lesson in individuality and pride (and then end the show with her home planet’s unintelligible, screeching national anthem). She is also very charming and lovable. Guests warm up to her and are delighted to share their talents while answering her endless questions.

Jax. Nine year-old big brother to Rhea, he is the pack rat of the group. He is constantly showing up with animals, appliances or other garbage that he has found that he takes apart, and doesn’t necessarily put back together. He and his sister are home schooled by Mom and Dad.

Dad. The scientist. As a devotee of the scientific method (plan, hypothesize, plan, experiment, plan some more, etc.), he is endlessly frustrated by Jax’s “just dive in and see what happens” method. Much comedy comes from his and Jax’s interactions over Jax’s lessons and collections.

Mom. A loving mother and eternal optimist who sees possibilities in everything. Where Dad and Jax are interested in the guts of things and how they work, she is interested in where things lead to, and how they promote love and the good in life.

DAD
(holding a melted mass of plastic)
Jax tried to see if the microwave would play CDs.
(depressed)
He cooked my favorite Britney Spears album!

MOM
I love that he is thinking about how
sounds are made! Why don’t you give him your salsa CD so he can cook up something spicy for dinner!

Uncle Omet. A great source of comic relief. Omet is a talkative, garrulous adult who is just a “big kid” at heart. (Uncle Omet is responsible for everybody’s Earth names, as their own language is unintelligible to humans. He took the names of household supplies and dropped off the first letter or syllable. Omet is from Comet cleanser, Jax is from Ajax, Bisco is from Nabisco, etc.) He is constantly experimenting in the kitchen and coming up with ideas that work (peanut butter pancakes) and don’t work (peanut butter ice cubes).

LICENSING POTENTIAL

The preschool product licensing category is one of the biggest, and Rheostat’s Restaurant’s warm, musical premise will allow us to license the characters in a broad range of categories. There’s “country children’s music,” plush toys, games, books, videos, and more.

Rhea, herself, is designed to be the next “Elmo,” a super-star character that will cross international – or, in her case, interplanetary – boundaries.

HOME MADE HORRORA Participatory Video-Clip Reality Seriesfor Ages 8-12

2006-01-01T16:49:00.000-05:00

"Show a kid a horror movie, and you'll entertain him for an hour. Teach him how to make a horror movie, and you'll fascinate him for a lifetime."

Remember when you were a child and locked yourself in your room, determined to create an artistic masterpiece with crayons and paint? Remember emerging triumphantly, and receiving rave reviews from your parents and siblings?

Home Made Horror is a half-hour television show that taps into kids’ natural enthusiasm for creating things and showing them off. Only instead of crayon drawings, it’s videos. And not just any videos. Ghoulish, gross, bloody, scary, funny, monstrous, horror videos – the kind that kids are naturally drawn to make.

Home Made Horror is designed to showcase their creativity, educate them about the art and science of movie making, and show how storytelling skills can help them in all areas of their life.

Two young teenagers -- one boy and one girl -- host the show. They sit on director’s chairs in front of a “green-screen” on a soundstage set. The “green-screen” is used as an example of simple movie-making technology, and to inject some humor into the show through the use of interesting and sometimes inappropriate backdrops. (For example, when Boy Host says, “I don’t like roller-coasters,” we can put a roller-coaster ride on the blue screen background.)

The show is made up of two parts:

Home made science fiction videos. Funny, gross, and gory scenes from kids’ home movies are the main features of the program. Prizes (software, creativity-related technology, trips to Hollywood, etc.) will be awarded to the best video. Voting will be done via the internet.

Interviews with film professionals. Film directors and special effects and make-up artists will share their experience, tips, and techniques.

Home Made Horror has a very simple concept, yet taps into the very powerful motivation that kids have to show off. This connection between the show and its viewers is a double-edged sword: while we may enjoy powerful ratings (as kids tune in to see if their video is being shown), we have an important responsibility to always have a positive attitude towards submitted work. In other words, America’s Funniest Home Videos can get away with making rude comments, we cannot.

This would be the perfect show for Apple computer to underwrite, since Apple’s imovie software is revolutionizing the way kids create.

LICENSING POTENTIAL

While this is not a typical character-based show, a few powerful categories of products would be appropriate for a licensing program.

We will also be on the lookout for potential commercial concepts from among the videos submitted by kids. There may be a breakout monster character lurking about!

Camera, computer, and other imaging equipment. Hardware and software manufacturers are obvious choices to boast the Home Made Horror seal of approval.

Books. A line of “how-to” books would be a natural fit with the show.

Clothing. Halloween costumes and casual clothing could carry gross-out horror images (T-shirts

TOY TEAMAn Animated Action Adventure for Ages 7-12

2006-01-01T16:46:00.000-05:00

A band of medieval knights are in battle, attempting to storm a powerful wizard’s castle and rescue a princess. Volleys of magical arrows fly over the castle wall, all to no effect. Frederick, the wizard, is protected by powerful magic. Samuel, leader of the heroic band, is down to his last arrow. In a flash of inspiration (born of desperation), he ties some ragweed to the arrow and sends it flying straight into Frederick’s face.

The arrow bounces harmlessly off Frederick’s chest. Frederick grins. Laughs. Then stands still, a cold sweat beading up on his forehead. He is allergic to ragweed! He starts crying and sneezing and howling and stomping his feet – more the tantrum of a 10-year old than a powerful wizard. The castle starts to collapse under his stomping feet. What is going on here?

CUT TO a sunny California beach, where 10-year old Fred is crying and sneezing and howling and stomping on a giant sandcastle. His twin brother, Sam, is holding a handful of ragweed in his face. Lying in the sand are two medieval knight action figures. We’ve just been privy to the boy’s fantasy world of play!

Every episode of Toy Team starts with such a fantasy battle. It provides a window into the personalities of the children (in this case, the rivalry of Fred and Sam over Jessie’s affections), and sets up the story to follow (community groups warring over the development of a beachfront lot).

After the opening battle, the boys round up the rest of Toy Team for a meeting. Held in the basement of Sam and Fred’s dad’s candy store, the meetings include Sam, Fred, 10-year old Jessie, 8-year old Lia, and 6 year-old Bobby along with their favorite (for that day, at least!) toys.

The children come up with a problem to solve, brainstorm/play-act solutions, gather more information in the community, then solve the problem and save the day.

The show promotes brotherhood, honor, integrity, leadership, teamwork, mutual support, and creative problem solving. (For example: in a fantasy battle against alien invaders, the kids give up their selfish wants for the common defense. This leads them to try the same thing in real life.)

Toy Team’s context is that battles are acceptable -- even healthy -- in fantasy, but real life requires diplomacy, integrity, and teamwork.

MAIN CHARACTERS

Sam Ross. A ten year old boy, fraternal twin to Fred. Loves the beach, cars, and bad guys. Sam is mischievous, brave, quick thinking, impulsive, and immature for his age. His favorite toy is his “Knights of the Magic Heart” action figure – a medieval knight with magic powers. He is always teasing Frederick about liking Jessie.

Fred Ross. Ten year old twin brother to Sam. Likes electronics, reading, and helping out in his dad’s store. Mature and serious for his age, he has asthma. Likes Jessie. His favorite toy is a “Knights of the Magic Heart” sorcerer.

Jessie Kazan. Ten year old girl. Bossy, smart, and worldly. She likes pop music, glittery make-upy things, and pushing Fred and Sam around. Her favorite toy is an “Undercover Rocker” teen rock-star doll.

Lia Rose. Eight year old girl. Very bright and caring. She is the environmentalist of the group, and always talking about animals (especially horses), forests, and gardens. She is unsure of herself and reluctant to speak up, even though she often has the best ideas. Her favorite toy is a Native American princess doll called “Princess Earthwatersky.”

Bobby Rubarth. Six year old boy. Moody and brooding. Has a hard time keeping up with the older children. The other kids are not happy that they are stuck with him, but Lia looks out for him. He is in the team because Sam and Fred’s father insisted; Bobby lives with his father and needs the after-school care. Bobby’s favorite toy is an “Ambassador Bird” (a sort of James Bond for little kids) action figure.

Patrick Ross. Sam and Fred’s father. Owns an organic candy store in a California beach town. Good-natured creative type, his candy store has all sorts of weird, wonderful, and gross candies (Candy Ear Wax, Edible Socks, etc.) that sometimes play into the plots.

Robert Rubarth, Sr. Bobby’s father. An extremely obese man who is always failing in get-rich-quick schemes. He is a loner who has a hard time asking for help; he’s the antithesis of the show’s “teamwork works” premise. He and Bobby have a difficult relationship, and they strain to find common ground.

LICENSING POTENTIAL

Toy Team is a unique property in that there are four toy concepts within the show’s umbrella concept. So licensed product in the categories of books, clothing, games and toys can be sold in many different combinations.

Toy Team. The Toy Team concept of a group of friends getting together to play lends itself to licensed clothing, books, and games built around the Toy Team logo (a circle of hands on top of each other).

Knights of the Magic Heart. Ancient warriors of strength, magic, and honor, these medieval action figures use magical weapons and fierce battle skills to protect the Magic Heart – a gem that rejuvenates and heals injuries – from the forces of evil. When a natural disaster strikes, and the Magic Heart is most in need, the Dark Lord is sure to be around waiting for his chance to steal it. (The Magic Heart must always be shared with those in need, but the selfish Dark Lord wants it for himself.)

The Knights take advantage of the latest Velcro technology for imaginative play. Figures are covered with Velcro loops, and the accessories (armor, shields, etc.) have Velcro hooks molded in. The unique use of Velcro in all the Toy Team action figures will make them stand apart from other toys.

Princess Earthwatersky. “From the land of deep waters and clear sky” comes this Native American naturalist and her animal companions. The Princess flies with eagles, runs with horses, and swims with dolphins in her quest to promote harmony between the earth and its inhabitants. Velcro technology allows the Princess to apply clothing, flowers, and jewelry to herself and her animal friends.

Undercover Rocker. In the series, this doll is meant to be a satire on the low-hip-hugging, belly-button-piercing look of teen singers. But the character is actually a teen detective who dresses the part of rock star in order to solve mysteries in the world of rock music. Velcro accessories will change mild-mannered teen girl into wild looking Undercover Rocker.

Ambassador Bird. As used in this series, Ambassador Bird is a cute little creature not unlike the Hello Kitty characters. He is a little dove in a tuxedo with a rakish personality. His playset would include an airplane, speedboat, and racing car. (Perhaps Sanrio will add this adventurous, boy-oriented hero character to their line-up.)

Created by Ross and Bill Weber

FREIGHTAn adult situation comedy

2006-01-01T16:42:00.000-05:00

"Brrrraaaaaaaaackkkkkkkkhhhhhhhh!" The morning bell (sounding like an albatross trapped in a blender) rings at Package Delivery, Inc., located in a decrepit New Jersey warehouse across the Delaware River from downtown Philadelphia. It is a low-rent, no-brain Federal Express-type operation, as evidenced by the big, stained, banner on the wall proclaiming the company's oh-so-brilliant advertising slogan, "We Deliver Packages."

The drivers begin pulling packages off a huge conveyor belt and filling their trucks. It is a simple, dumb job. But the drivers are not simple or dumb. They are, for the most part, intelligent and cultured. They carry on conversations about fine wine, opera, and current events.

Flitting all around them, like light-starved moths, are the
SUPERVISORS -- immature, insecure, and inept, much like the villain's sidekicks in Disney movies. They create fires in order to get credit for putting them out. (SUPERVISOR 1: "Step back from the conveyor belt and lissen up. You are letting too many pieces of freight for your route pass by.")

At the head of the belt is the "scan and drop" table. The show starts here -- via a cold open -- every week. As drivers do mindless barcode scanning, they joke about the events of the day. This rapid-fire jokefest is FREIGHT'S equivalent of THE TONIGHT SHOW monologue. F'rinstance:

STEVE
Did you see George Bush and his re-election team
last night on CNN?

FABIO
Yeah. Bush was so intent on keeping his job he had
the presidential seal tattooed on his forehead.

SUGARBEAR
I saw Bush on MTV. He was singing
"Giving Up Is Hard To Do."

FABIO
Down doobie-doo down down, comma comma,
down doobie-doo down down, comma comma....

FABIO, SUGARBEAR and STEVE
Down doobie doo down down, giving up is hard to do!

FABIO
(singing, imitating George Bush)
Don't take my job away from me
I deserve the presi-den-cy
I may be stuck in Iraqi poo
But giving up is hard to do

Remember when the war looked bright
and the bombs were dropped all through the night
Approval ratings were explosive too
Sigh. Giving up is hard to do

SUGARBEAR and STEVE
They say that giving up is hard to do
With our George, you know that it's true
If George can’t end Iraq’s tragedy

SUGARBEAR
Instead of bin-Laden it will be him

STEVE
With the ex-it stra-te-gy!

FABIO
(looking up towards Heaven)
I beg of you don't say goodbye
Don't give the election to that other guy
(an aside)
Jesus, save me from Rumsfeld, too.
Dang-nabbit!
ALL
Giving up is hard, giving up is hard to do!

At the center of this activity is driver STEVE SPOTT. Steve
is the 30-something father of two young children, now coping with life post-divorce. A former beauty shop owner, he works here for the benefits and to be in the same town as his kids. ("I'm living in poverty, working at a stupid job, and being kicked around daily by lawyers. But when I picture the faces of my kids in front of me, my rented room becomes a rowhouse in Rittenhouse Square, at work I'm Regis Philbin delivering packages of money, and the lawyers live in a beautiful country cabin... in the Blair woods.")

Into this world enters ANA ALEA, about 30, newly divorced, no kids. ("My ex-husband didn't want to have kids. He wanted to stay the only child.") Her ambition is to start a small business, somehow working with children. ("Wouldn't that be a kicker? I want kids so bad I would pay for the privilege.
And it might turn out that they'll be paying me.")

When she and Steve meet, there is an immediate sizzle – but they are both too shy and resigned to acknowledge it. However, the seed of friendship is planted. Will it grow into love?

Steve takes Ana under his wing, explaining ridiculous work rules ("You can't use your sick days when you're sick") and the different nicknames for people ("He's Peanut because he's small like a peanut. He's Fabio because he is, well, er, not anything like Fabio.") He tells her that the building is called "the barn," and that management rates everyone as either a "cow" (milks his route) or a "horse" (races through his route.)

Moos, whinneys, galloping hooves sound effects, and bad cow/horse puns are, from time to time, made by drivers commenting on the action.

Whenever the drivers talk about barnyard animals, the topic invariably turns to sex. (Handsome, egotistical TOMMY
McLAUGHLIN: "This stallion doesn't need your sound effects.
I make her whinney on my own!" FABIO: "Somebody better get a shovel. This ‘stallion’ just dropped a load.”)

We occasionally visit family court with Steve. Court proceedings happen in a surreal vaudevillian style.

JUDGE WASHON-WEARIT, Steve's judge, has the habit of having personal needs attended to while holding court. (She reflects: "That's the most moving speech about fathers and children that I have ever heard. But I can't stop laughing because my pedicurist is tickling me!" And she rules: "You've been before me on this same issue for over a year now. It's been impossible for you to settle it yourselves. But I am not going to help. What do you think? That I am being paid to make decisions for people?")

Combine the workplace absurdity of DILBERT, the romantic obsessions of CHEERS and FRIENDS, and the ensemble comedy of TAXI, and you get FREIGHT -- a sharp, intelligent comedy about real people. It's a show about how integrity, loyalty, and growth can get you through the obstacles -- and around the difficult people -- of life.

Comedy flows from the conflict between drivers and management, the contrasts between dating in the 20s and in the 30s, the personal growth (and personal stumbling) of two people falling in love post-divorce, and from the shenanigans of family court.

FREIGHT is based on the true life story of its creator, Bill Weber. As a driver for 5 years in a suburban Airborne Express facility, he maneuvered through the family court system and lived through the conflicts, contrasts, and comedy of life.

MAIN CHARACTERS

STEVE SPOTT is a smart, social, self-aware thirty-something
man dealing with life post divorce: poverty, dating, part-
time parenting, and unfinished court business with the ex-
wife from hell. Steve and his ex-wife used to own a beauty
shop. He took a Package Delivery driver's job to provide
medical benefits for his two young children, and to distract
himself from the injustices of the family court system.
("The physical workout here is a snap compared to the
emotional workout there!") He is the center of the ensemble,
and explains and mirrors the insanity around him. ("See the
Supervisor over there? He's doing Alex Sofra's work, sorting
letters by zip code. Alex told him he couldn't do it. They
were too poor to have zip codes in Russia!")

ANA ALEA, about 30, is a charismatic Latina spark plug who is
the new driver on the job at Package Delivery. Freshly divorced with no kids, she can hold her own in the locker room atmosphere of Package Delivery, Inc. ("This place is cold and smells of gas. Just like a man.")

TOMMY McLAUGHLIN, early 20s, is the barn Casanova. Extremely
handsome and knows it. Sometimes offers the other drivers
his "cast-offs." ("Lissen, Peanut. You meet me at Adam's
Beer Garden at 9 tonight. There's this chick I'm gonna set
you up with. I'm telling you, she will be all over me, I
mean you. You just tell her you are me, I mean, know me."
His other love (besides himself), is baseball. ("Baseball is
the perfect sport: You don't gotta get sweaty or worked up.
You just got to run around the bases fast enough that your
hat flies off and your hair looks good.")

DEBBIE WILLIAMS, driver, is a flirtatious, rowdy, rebellious, raven-haired 20 year-old. This is her first real job, and she likes the attention of the men in the place. She has a crush on TOMMY. She is, however, all attitude and no action. During work hours, she keeps her uniform shirt out and unbuttoned to reveal a tight black t-shirt. But when she punches out at the end of the day, the shirt gets tucked back in, and stays in, as she returns to her boring, conservative life: living at home with her parents.

KIM GOLDMAN, who is, in her own words, in the "light 30s,"
works in the office handling customer service calls. She plays the dim, happily married mother hen to the drivers. ("Steve Spott! I told you to get me your daughter's dress size so that I could make her a Christmas skirt. Now I am just going to have to leave it around my tree for another year.")

BERAT SIMSEK, driver, is an intense Lebanese man in his early 20s. He came to America with nothing, and appreciates the "gret onion job" that Package Delivery provides. Some of the other drivers make fun of his accent. But he never gets upset. ("I don't never mind them. They want me feel small like they do. But I have special prayer when I want they know I understand. It is 'raiikondo salaycon.' Means 'Eat my shorts.'")

ALEX SOFRA, driver, is a jovial Russian immigrant in his 50s. He is used to hard work. He was an engineer in Russia, and worked as a lumberjack during his vacations to earn money for living expenses. With a son with muscular dystrophy, and a wife, sister and brother-in-law to support, he is always elated when opportunity knocks. ("When new union contract is passed, I get more day off every year to work other job!")

JOHN PETERSON, is a large slab of a man in his mid-twenties. Used to be a high-flying retail executive. He thinks he is the class clown, but he isn't funny. Even though he mimics and insults other people, he always ends up the butt of his own jokes. ("Look at all the empty crates in the back of this truck! Hey Simsek! Look! Affordable housing! I'll bless them for you: 'raiikondo salaycon, raiikondo salaycon!'")

RON "PEANUT" MANSFIELD, barely 20 and socially immature, is a
different kind of Supervisor. There is intelligence and an almost painful sensitivity behind his searching eyes. He is very naive about women (and life, for that matter), and the drivers enjoy busting his chops. He looks up to Rocky like a father. ("Rocky, the men told me I should stop chewing on my pencil eraser, especially when I am around the women drivers. Do you know what they are talking about?")

PAT "FABIO" NEWCOMB is Package Delivery's resident wise-guy
and song parodyist. He is pudgy and in his early 30s. He
has an MBA, but works here because "Package Delivery audiences are the best audiences in the world!" He is often found leading the men in song (old slave-era spirituals a favorite) as a response to one of the boss's ridiculous orders.

GUS BISHOP is a tall, powerfully built black man in his late
twenties who spends his days squished in at the dispatcher's desk. Officially, he is the company's dispatcher. Unofficially, he is spiritual advisor to the drivers, who call him "Father." Drivers are always asking him for advice, which he dispenses with wisdom (“The sexiest thing about a woman is the trust she gives to you.”) and a sly sense of humor ("I don't know what God would say about buying sex toys from the internet. Maybe 'don't buy Panasonic' -- cause they're slightly ahead of their time!") Gus dreams of opening his own ministry. One day he will realize that Package Delivery IS his own ministry.
ROCCO "ROCKY" GUERRERO is the Station Manager at Package
Delivery. He is only 39, yet appears much, much older and
stiffer. A former Marine Drill Sargeant, he thinks he is still running a boot camp. His style of management is sadistic: "I've noticed that you drivers are not pulling your freight off the belt fast enough. So I've developed a new, two-belt system. One, I've increased the tension and sped up the belt. Two, I will belt you if you stop paying attention."

JOHN "SUGARBEAR" CONNELLY, KENNY "SOURBALL" FULLAN, and PATTY
NORTON are drivers of mixed ages and dispositions.

PACKAGE DELIVERY SUPERVISORS are a constantly changing group
of geeks, freaks, adolescents and ass-kissers. They play the
roles of Disneyesque sidekicks to the villainous Rocky.
(SUPERVISOR #1 (wearing a wide grin and holding a brand new
dollar bill): "I told Rocky I let a driver go home to take
care of his ulcer. Know what he did? He high-fives me, says
'another one bites the dust!' Then tells me to buy myself
something nice. What a boss!")

JUDGE BARBARA WASHON-WARIT, early 40s, is the family court judge handling Steve's divorce. She is frighteningly naïve about people, and prejudiced against men. She thinks that every case can be handled with cookies and milk and other Psych 101 psycho-babble. ("Mrs. Smith, you were just convicted of axe-murdering your mother-in-law, and now Mr. Smith is asking for the court's protection. Come on now, Mr. Smith! Don't be such a big baby! Everyone knows that men need their mother's apron-strings cut!")

SAMPLE STORYLINES

1. THE ROUTE THAT REFRESHES Does the route make the driver happy, or is it the other way around? Alex Sofra always comes in happy and refreshed after his route. So the gang shares their
fantasies about their ideal route. Tommy dreams he is
super hunk, delivering his "package" to all the
receptionists. For Ana, Stop One is a massage, Stop Two
is a facial, Stop Three is a pedicure. Steve dreams he is
Super Spott, rescuing kids in distress. And Debbie?
Debbie the rebel refuses to share her dream. But, at the
end of the episode, we see her private dream of being
swept away by a man with a white picket fence and a
kitchen decorated with flowered wallpaper.

In the end, Alex soberly explains the source of his good
attitude: "In Russia, life was hard. Lines for bread.
Working as lumberjack on days off to pay for car. I
thought I had problems. But then my son was born with
Muscular Dystrophy. Compared to him, I have no problems."

2. THE VIENNESE CHARM

In the barn, TOMMY talks about how he always knows how
dates are going to turn out. (TOMMY: "It's just the way it
is. I say this, she says that. I do this, she does that.
I touch this, she touches that.") The drivers agree --
after all, they can reliably predict what Rocky will do in
any given circumstance. (FABIO: It's soooo simple. Rocky
will always do the opposite of what he thinks we want!)

Meanwhile, PEANUT'S Great-Uncle Hansel stops by to mail a
package and say hello. He is an average looking, yet
extraordinarily cheerful, man of about 70, with a
beautiful, young Asian wife. PEANUT explains how this is
Hansel's fourth wife -- all of them young and beautiful.
All PEANUT knows is that there is some family trait called
"The Viennese Charm" that Hansel has in abundance.

The drivers tease PEANUT unmercilessly, and egg him on to
show if he has "The Viennese Charm" like his Great-Uncle.
(SUGARBEAR: "I've heard that all the chicks are just
waiting for a good Waltz.") When TOMMY predicts that
PEANUT's dates will always end up the same -- sad and
alone, PEANUT summons up his courage and asks DEBBIE out.
And she accepts!

Steve and Ana, on a date that night, are also stuck in the
past. Despite their best efforts to not be predictable,
the conversation always turns back to ex's and kids. They
try all sorts of tricks -- like going to a bookstore and
browsing through the Auto Mechanics section, yet they
always find something that swings the topic back to
something from the past (ANA: "Wow. Engine oil pressure
can top 1500 pounds per square inch. Like the headaches
my ex gave me."). They vow to give up the past, but
wonder what they will replace it with. Since they only
recently met, they don't even have their own history to
talk about. So they decide to make it up.

The next morning at the barn, Steve and Ana talk about all
their made-up travels and adventures, totally confusing
their co-workers. But wait a sec -- where's PEANUT and
DEBBIE?

Somebody looks in the lunchroom, and brings them out,
looking all disheveled. PEANUT has a dumbfounded look on
his face. Debbie has a biiiig grin on hers. The last line
belongs to her: "The Viennese Charm."

3. HORSIES VS. MOO COWS

The company baseball game is coming up, and the rivalry
between the Horses and the Cows is escalating into trouble
at the barn. "The Masked Moo-rauder" is leaving
mysterious gifts in lockers. "Quick-Draw McGraw" is
scribbling on cars in the parking lot. Who are the
culprits?

The game is scheduled for a weekend that Steve has his
kids. But Steve isn't sure whether he should take his
kids where he will be distracted. He is trying to be the
perfect parent, and wants to give his kids his undivided
attention 100% of the time. ("I remember my mother
talking about her job at the dinner table, talking about
her co-workers as if they were her family. But WE were
her family! For years, I thought she loved her work
family more than she loved us.")

At Ana's urging, Steve calls his mother and asks her about
the dinner conversations. ("Wouldja believe it!?! She
told me that she just wanted to instill in us a sense of
pride about work. I made it mean something else!") When
Ana tells him, "The best thing you can do for your kids is
to play full out," play full out he does.

Meanwhile, TOMMY, who takes baseball way too seriously,
thinks that DEBBIE is the Masked Moo-rauder, and is only
messing up the lockers to get his attention. He turns on
the charm, and their flirting rises to dangerous levels.

Steve's team wins the baseball game, and his kids turn out
to be the mysterious pranksters -- they wanted him to play
full-out, too! And when Tommy finds out the Masked Moo-
rauder is Steve's 7-year old daughter (and not Debbie), he
gets a lesson in humility.

4. WHERE DO THEY ALL BELONG?

Dealing with the loneliness of being single, Steve and
Tommy decide to go out every night of the week. They
alternate picking places to go, but somehow always end up
around people desparately trying not to be lonely.

TOMMY ("Chicks who speak in syl-la-bles really know how to
hook up.") picks poetry reading for Monday. (WOMAN: "All
week. My anger. My hate. My loneliness. It cuts like a
knife. Twisted in my heart. Until finally. Release!
Rejoice! Here. At the Poetry Garden of Love." MAN:
"Mona, I'm so alona. May I call you on the phona?")
Tuesday, Steve picks a singles support group. Wednesday,
it's an on-line "meet." Thursday is father's rights night.
On Friday, with both men exhausted, Tommy reveals his
secret method for fighting loneliness: kiddie movies!
At the early show, they meet all of the lonely people --
including Ana and Peanut! Everyone just wants to forget
their troubles, laugh, and be kids again.

5. MUM'S THE WORD

The barn is about to be audited by corporate HQ. Rocky's
on an efficiency kick, giving early morning lectures
(ROCKY: "When you put your foot forcefully on the gas, you
waste fuel." FABIO: "You've been putting your foot
forcefully up our gas for years.") and handing out all
sorts of charts and diagrams. Soon, everybody is tripping
over each other, generally wasting time trying not to
waste time.

Ana needs a day off for personal business, and is refused
it by Rocky. The drivers explain that she should just
play the game and call in sick:

SUGARBEAR:
Never use your sickdays when you're sick.

SOURBALL:
Use them only for personal business and
religious holidays, which you don't get off.

STEVE:
But you can't let them find out that you're not
really sick.

TOMMY:
If they find out you are not sick, they don't
pay you, because if you are not sick, why are
you using a sick day?

FABIO:
If you are caught taking too many days off
when you are not sick, they punish you.

ANA:
Oh no! What do they do?

GUS:
They give you a day off.

Ana, however, can't be untruthful, so she is in a real
dilemma.

Meanwhile, something strange is going on with Peanut.
A couple of feathers fall out of his locker. Then there's
glitter on his face one morning. Turns out Peanut is a
Mummer, and will be appearing in the famous Mummer's
parade!

To cover for Peanut, get Ana a day off, and sabotage Rocky
at the same time, the gang plants feathers, make-up and
lacy underwear in Rocky's office for the auditor to find.
When the auditor uncovers what he thinks is Rocky's dirty
little secret, Rocky turns super-machismo. After he
sweats a little while, Ana comes in, claims the apparel as
hers, and thanks Rocky for being so understanding and
giving her the next day off. During the tag, the whole
gang cheers Peanut -- and Rocky, dressed in beads and
feathers! -- on at the parade.

6. ABUSIVE AMERICA

Peterson takes a consciousness-raising seminar, and
returns to work totally transformed -- self-expressed,
caring, and attentive. His enthusiasm is infectious, and
soon the entire Package Delivery crew is transformed --
they want to "have integrity," and "make a difference."
Rocky, observing from afar, is not happy. Productivity is
up, happiness is up, but his sense of control is down!

Even the usual barnyard humor is curtailed, with
instigators like Tommy and Fabio speaking like Elizabethan
gentlemen. Tommy, getting ready for a big date, must deal
with an inner conflict between self-gratification and
respect for his date.

Rocky calls Peterson in for a talk. Rocky says that
"everybody only is out for themselves. They only do what
is going to make themselves happy at that moment. The
real world is people abusing each other." To prove his
point, he turns on the television. It is a kids puppet
show (DON'T-MESS-WITH-ME STREET). Adults snicker, puppets
are sarcastic. "See," says Rocky, "these smart people are
teaching kids how to act in the real world."

Meanwhile, Steve takes a transformed attitude to the judge
in family court. Steve says that he is just asking for
freedom for his kids to be self-expressed, and to recieve
his caring and attention. Her honor, however, is not
moved. The judge doubts his motivation, and lectures him:
"Everybody only is out for themselves. They only do what
is going to make themselves happy at that moment." She
adds that "DON'T-MESS-WITH-ME STREET," her favorite
program, is about to start and she must be going. Court
adjourned.

Ocean Grove Community Room

2005-05-21T15:19:00.000-04:00

The Community Room is part of the main Ocean Grove Camp Meeting Association building, located on Pitman Avenue and facing the main town square.

The Community Room is on a side street, just off the main town square.

Nice entrance with plenty of room to hang around outside and kibbitz.

We fit about 80 people comfortably theatre-style in the Community Room. We tell the Ocean Grove Camp Meeting Association how many tables and chairs that we need, and they set up for us.

Looking into the room from the front door.

Looking into the room from the back hallway.

There is a loading dock that opens onto the back hallway.

The kitchen is just a little room with a little sink, little refigerator, and little microwave oven.

The ladies and mens restrooms are off the back hallway, up a short, five step staircase.

Ladies Room

Mens Room

The Bath Avenue House is a modest inn with 35 rooms. We take his entire inn for our event each year. Jim Angelloti, the owner, is an excellent cook, and he has prepared buffet meals for our entire group at his inn. He won't cater off-site, though.

The Manchester Inn has a dining room that seats 75 tops. They host Jewish groups throughout the year, and could prepare a "kosher-style" meal. The Manchester is one of the inns that we work with every year. Clark is the owner.

Audition Video

2005-04-20T12:28:00.000-04:00

Bill Weber was invited to audition for "Surviving Tomorrow," a science television series being produced by Darlow Smithson Productions for the Discovery Channel.

Virtually-Free Website Guide

2005-03-31T20:34:00.000-05:00

1. Go to GoDaddy.com and buy yourself a domain name.

2. Go to Blogger and register for a free blog.

When you get to the part where you pick the URL (computer address) for the blog, use your name, your type of art, and dashes (Bill-Weber-Graphic-Design). This will help search engines find you.
When you get to the part where you have to decide which template, take the Minima White template.

3. Go back to GoDaddy.com and log in (your account should be set up by now). Go to "My Account." Then go to "Manage Domain Forwarding." When you get there, forward your domain name to your blogger URL (http://Bill-Weber-Graphic-Design.blogspot.com).

RESOURCES

WIBO - Workshop In Business Opportunities offers free and low-cost workshops in web design and marketing in New York City.